


Luka Claus' Stocking Stuffer

by Anonymous



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blow Jobs, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Large Cock, Netflix and Chill, Silly, Smut, Weird Biology, Weirdness, im so sorry, man idk what else to tag here, no beta we die like santa's elves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:53:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28238022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Christmas Day was always an inconvenient time for Luka Couffaine. For you see, he was part-Santa. The jolly old christmas cheer flowed through his veins and its holiday magic manifested in the more...stranger ways.It was usually manageable, but as luck would have it, it just had to manifest a day earlier this year. Just in time for his and Marinette's christmas netflix and chill special.-WARNING: VAGUE CASTLEVANIA SEASON 3 SPOILERSalso, there are no stockings that are stuffed, sorry about that.
Relationships: Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22
Collections: Anonymous





	Luka Claus' Stocking Stuffer

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays, everybody! Whether you're spending it by yourself, with your loved ones, or with like a parrot or something, I hope this fic finds you well. 
> 
> Admittedly, the holidays can be tough for some, and while it may sound weird, coming from a weird smutty fanfic, whoever you are, wherever you are, I hope that this weirdass story about Luka and his candy-cane coloured cock helps lighten the mood, or at least make it bearable. 
> 
> Sincerely, the author <3

Luka Couffaine had a problem. For three-hundred sixty-four days, he was your regular boy-next-boathouse with a guitarful of love and respect, but for the one day of the year, Christmas Day, his love and respect pooled into his core, concentrating it into a thick mass of holiday cheer. 

For you see, Luka was part-Santa Claus. The powers manifested differently for each one in his family. His mom gained an affinity for baking not normally seen in other days, and his sister's ears turned pointy. 

And him? Well, for one reason or another, his Santa-blood manifested in the most inconvenient ways. It caused that pooled love and respect to expand outwards via the closest appendage nearest his core. It caused his parts to be colored like a candy cane and grow just a little bit with christmas cheer.

Which wouldn't be much of a problem, normally, but this year it came a day early, the day of his and Marinette's planned christmas bed time session six months in the making.

He considered asking Juleka for her make-up kit but then realised there'd be two secrets he'd have to take to his grave then. 

The clock struck midnight, December 24th, and it began. He could feel the warmth rush downwards and the stripes of minty fresh goodness twirled about his bits. 

His phone rang, Marinette was on her way. He could call it off now while he still could. 

"Knock knock! Luka, are you there?" 

OH NO.

He pulled up two pairs of underwear and put his skinniest jeans on. "In a minute!" he replied as if his mom had caught him at a bad time. He stumbled through the deck and greeted her with a flustered smile on his face. "You're early." 

She wore a grey coat and black slacks, with an expectant smile on her face. In her hands was a basket full of all the things they needed. A bottle of lube, a bundle of towels, several weirdly flavoured condoms, a pair of fuzzy handcuffs if they felt like it, etc etc.

Oh, and a Rudolph the red nosed cock sock and sexy santa lingerie, for the holidays. 

"Permission to come aboard?" she asked, standing just by the gangplank.

"Permission granted!" He said, hoping that she didn't hear the waver in his voice. They could go cuddling, that's always good. 

But, six months of planning...

What was he talking about, she'd understand. 

"Hey, Marinette, I was thinking." 

"Yeah? What's up?" she walked on board, cheeks rosy, and gave him a longer than usual kiss on cheek. 

Luka led her down. "I know how we've been planning this for six months and all and," 

"Mhmm?" She loosened her winter coat, revealing the cute christmas ornament-themed dress underneath. Oh saints preserve him, she looked so adorable, and so holiday-ey. It caused his Santa blood to rush downwards from seeing so much winter cheer, goddamnit. 

The increased size granted by his Santa bloodline made him slightly lightheaded. "Do you think we can call a rain check--er--a snow check?" 

"Oh! Is this a bad time?" 

"Kinda, yeah." 

"Ah," she lowered her basket full of goodies. "Well that's alright, we can go watch some Netflix instead!" 

And they did, and it was nice. Castlevania Season 4 just came out, and Saint Germain really solidified himself as the series' quirky hidden badass. 

They threw a blanket over themselves, cuddled up, and shared a bowl of popcorn as they watched from his warm couch in his chill cozy living room. 

She rested her head on his shoulder. "So when's your family coming back?" asked Marinette as they watched Trevor somehow whip his way past another crowd of night creatures. 

"Sometime after midnight. They have a Christmas rock concert for charity to play for."

There goes Isaac, off on his Pokemon adventure again, what a guy.

"Huh? Shouldn't you be with them, then?" 

"I kinda asked Adrien to fill my spot." 

"I never knew he could play the guitar..." Oh shit, Sypha tossed a barrel of holy water at an incoming behemoth and burst it open with a lightning bolt. 

Luka snuggled further into the sofa. "He picked it up quickly, I was surprised. All I really needed to do was give him all the songs he needed to perform and he was good to go." 

Marinette looked him in the eyes. "Wow. How'd you convince his dad?"

He brushed a stray bang off her face. "Let's just say he found enough time between his Chinese and piano lessons." 

Her expression scrunched up. "Wait, that means he only had 25 minutes to meet with you and learn guitar?" 

"I mean, it helps that his piano teacher is also my mom." 

She chuckled. Isaac finally found the sorry state Hektor the Simp was in. "Look at you, giving the son of one of Paris' top fashion brands clandestine christmas lessons." She flicked his nose affectionately. "Oh how far you've come, Monsieur Couffaine."

Luka cringed. "Ew, I told you not to say it like that." 

"Ah, of course!" Marinette turned to come face-to-face with him. She cleared her throat and leaned in closer until he felt her breath on his ear. " _Oh how far you've **come** ,_" she whispered, " _Monsieur_ ," and nibbled, " _Couffaine_." 

Luka gulped. That was exactly how he wanted her to say it. He was glad he wore two pairs of underwear today because BOY HOWDY that half-chub felt like it would've launched the popcorn bowl.

Before he could properly react, she flopped her head down on his lap (dangerously close to his no-no-for-today square) and continued watching. The gratuitous amounts of demon slaying and bone crunching helped fill the awkward silence he was overthinking in.

"Can't believe Alucard lent his sword to Trevor just like that. I mean, who'd give away their floating murder sword?"

"Doesn't he have two of those?"

"Striga shattered his other one, remember?"

"Yeah but he could've just asked Sypha to repair it, that's what she did with the Morningstar!"

"I think he's still traumatised by what happened in season 3, he needs time."

This was good. Nerding out about Castlevania was calming him down. He lazily twirled one of her ponytails when the show finally reached its climax, literally.

"WOOO--YEAH BABY THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!" Marinette suddenly cheered, nearly knocking off the popcorn bowl resting on her head. The epic fighting somehow died down and developed into a loving threeway between Alucard, Trevor, and Sypha that not only cured Alucard's Erectile Dysfunction but also renewed his faith in humanity. 

"Told you." And for Luka, it filled him with christmas cheer, and the other lewd thing. They always knew Alucard would be able to find love again, but he never imagined that Marinette's reaction would be this intense. He quickly put the bowl somewhere else as she continued to cheer the beautifully rendered 60fps love making. 

Ah fuck. It affected him too. 

He tried putting his hands between her and his christmas cheer but, "Uh, Marinette?" Marinette froze as she felt a heat push against the back of her head. Hopefully she didn't realise that it was slightly maybe significantly bigger--

"Has it always been this big?" she asked him as they were treated to the sight of Alucard's O-face. 

"Not really." 

She turned to face him and eyed the noticeably larger bulge in his pants. "Is this...normal?" 

"Yeah, well," and so Luka explained the weird bloodline he possessed. 

Marinette blinked. "Huh, neat." 

"Told you she wouldn't freak out." said Juleka nonchalantly as she crossed the living room. 

"Juleka?! I told you I needed the boat for the day!"   
Luka sputtered as Marinette shot up to a more chaste cuddling position. 

"Relax, I just came back for another bass, your guitar lessons with Adrien really paid off. Just pretend I'm not here." 

They sat in awkward silence as she rummaged around and finally walked out with guitar case in hand, closing the door behind her.

"Break a leg out there!" They called out. 

"Thanks! Don't make a mess now." 

With Juleka gone, and the Emmy-winning threeway over, they they decided to stop there and instead browse the great wilds of Netflix.

"So." Marinette cleared her throat. 

"Hm?" Luka stopped to read the summary of something called Your Name. 

"Does it still work? When it's like that?" 

He saved it to his 'Watch Later' list. "Yeahp."

"It just looks like a candy cane."

"Mhmm." 

.

.

"Can...can I see it?" There was that breathiness in her voice again. 

"Uuh..." 

"I'll show you mine?" 

"We've already did it, what's to see?" 

"So! Can I see it?" Her eyes glinted in the light. 

He put down the remote. "...Promise you won't laugh?" 

"We've shared nuke codes, Luka. I've seen what makes you cum." 

He shrugged. "You got me there." and without further ado unzipped his pants, letting his holiday junk almost burst out of their confinement. 

"Oh damn." Marinette was almost taken aback as she cupped the red and white length with both hands. "Does it get bigger?" 

"Nah, it's more of a shower." He adjusted his seat and pushed his underwear past his christmas ornament coloured 'bells.'

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank goodness, I don't even know if it'll fit if it did, not like it'll fit now." and giggled nervously. "Is it supposed to smell like mint?"

He scratched his head. "Y-yeah, I'm not sure why either. Rose did tell me Juleka's hair smells like cinnamon when its her time of the year." 

Marinette flopped it from side to side, the slight friction from her smooth hands doing more to him than he expected. "There really is some weight in this fella huh? Really warm too...Hmm." Her eyes examined his hardening shaft. "No way that's fitting anywhere..." 

Luka felt a rush of warmth as her grip tightened at the base. He squirmed in his seat. "It's okay, this is pretty good, all things considered." 

But Marinette had that look on her face. The look that preceded some proud statement or declaration of determination. Her mind was made up and Luka could only watch as she sat on the floor between his legs, took off her sweater, and pulled off his pants. 

"Sucks that six months of planning and research boiled down to a handjob, though." 

"Well, it is a really awesome handjob." He leaned back and spread his legs a bit more.

"Thanks! Alya, made me practice with a banana," She kissed his tip, licking some of his beading minty pre in the process. With her lips affectionately pressed against his glans, she hummed. "Deck the halls with balls so jolly," And gently stroked his dick to the song. "Fala-la-la-la~"

"Thanks, I hate it," chuckled Luka, and his body absolutely loved it. He felt warm under the collar, the cool freshness of his peppermint precum contrasted too well with her warm hands that no amount of desecrated christmas songs would spoil the mood.

She grinned and hand went down to massage his sensitive balls. "T'is the season to be cummy, fala-la-la-la, lala-la-la,"

Okay, maybe there was a limit. "Really?"

_"Grab we now our red/white handful,"_

Luka grunted and twitched under her care, spurting out another dollop of minty pre, and then she stopped. He was about to ask why when the answer blinked red and white in her hands. 

_"Troll [a/n: to sing loudly] this cozy netflix carol--_ Huh _."_ Marinette admired the sudden christmas cheer of his dick. "That's new." 

"That's...never happened before." It blinked like any christmas lights would, and the faint scent of hot cocoa filled the air. 

"Does it hurt?" 

"Nah, keep going." 

She shrugged, and went lower, her tongue lavishing his aching orbs one painfully slow lick at a time and doing her best to continue humming 'Deck the Halls.' She took her time on them, making sure that no part of them were left dry or unkissed, all while she squeezed and stroked his dick with her hands, and when she was satisfied with the look on his blushing face, she wrapped her tongue on the underside, starting from the base, and took her sweet time licking it upwards as she pressed it against his belly. 

This woman was going to be the death of him, Luka realised as sparks ran through his dick. "Wow," he moaned as she slid the glistening rod from side to side. "That's--uh, new..." 

_**Mwah**_ "Six months of research, Luka." she whispered and let off his cock. She nudged it against her cheek, her eyes almost twinkling with its light. "And, you know, getting edged for all those weeks. Call this payback for that wifi vibe you got me." 

"You're welcome," Luka grinned, because what else can a man do as his hornily vengeful girlfriend milked his christmas cock for all its worth. Oh yeah, moan as her hands squeezed and twisted around the shaft, gasp when she somehow took his head in her mouth, run his fingers through her hair as she bobbed in time with her hands, whimper sweet nothings when she took it as far down as she could, and finally cry her name out when she sucked **hard** . 

"Fuck-'m cumming!" he groaned. His muscles tensed as it all became too much. She pulled off his dick with a wet **pop** , her hands becoming a blur, and he came, his candy-cane colored cock erupting as his white hot holiday cheer shot straight up, accompanied by the sound of jingle bells.

The smell of vanilla filled the air as they stared at the small cloud snowing above them. Marinette caught a snowflake on her tongue, with several more landing on her hair until it looked like she had just come out of a snowglobe. 

"Huh, it's really snow." 

Luka's eyes were wide with surprise and the clarity that only came after he came. Come to think of it, he had never really fapped during this time of year. Well, now he knew, and he looked back down at absolutely lovely person he was spending it with and cupped her cheek. "You look really cute right now." 

"You too," and she gave his softening length a quick smooch. "Merry Christmas, Luka." 

"Merry Christmas, Marin--eh?" Luka gasped as she suddenly straddled him. 

"Don't think I'm letting you get off that easily," The room had darkened with the setting sun, the light of his dick the only thing illuminating the space between them before it disappeared under her warm sex. She unhooked her bra. "The night's only begun," she leaned closer, arms embracing his head, and whispered. " _Monsieur. Couffaine._ " 

Luka felt a rush of strength flow back to his candy rod. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, loving the way her hands tickled his skin as they went under his shirt. This woman really was going to be the death of him. 

  
~The End~

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in that Among Us/Miraculous fic:
> 
> ~I'm so sorry ahihi~
> 
> P.S.
> 
> Originally, I wanted it to  
> end with Marinette discovering that it burned like mint the hard way but this ending felt better to write, you know? It has more fluffy holiday cheer.


End file.
